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It’s not my burden

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I finally came to terms with the fact that I have arthritis in my right hip. I had it in the left one, too and got a hip replacement 8 years ago.
Now the right side.  I wonder why some people get it while others do not. Why did I get it and my sisters did not.  I also wonder why I took on the burden of emotional issues underlying my arthritis.
 
Can it be passed on from ancestors? Yes, it can.  Genetically, arthritis is hereditary.  But so are the emotional burdens they carried.  Maybe it is their issues that are passed on not just genetics and lifestyle?  Maybe because I am a sensitive one and an empath, I wanted to help them alleviate their pain.
 
Maybe it’s not really my burden to carry anymore!  Maybe I need to take that energy instead of supporting others, to support my body in its own healing.
 
My paternal grandmother had arthritis pretty bad to the point of being bed-ridden for her last 8 years.
In a meditation this weekend, she came to me and spoke to me in Polish.  It is how I knew it was her because she spoke to me in Polish.
 
Good thing I know how to write that! But some words I had to ask her for the English word as i had no idea what I was writing and I wanted to understand the message!
 
She told me
 
‘Go play. You will be so much happier, laughing and more fulfilled.
It doesn’t matter what your family thinks – you are an athlete and love to play!
Go play from my heart to yours.
I beg you to leave this burden to me. It is mine and I will handle it so you can go play whenever you want and however you want. Whatever your wish is for play.
 
I love you so much and I am sorry that I shared this burden chain to you. I will cut that cord now so you can be free.
XO Babcia K’
 
I cried pretty hard afterwards.
I feel that love and will do my best to play!  But with arthritis, it seems like a mighty big feat.
 
She didn’t tell me the burden as it wasn’t important.
 
I realized that I had taken on the burden, even though she did not ask me to.  Even at 5 years of age, when I first met her, I took on some of that burden to spare her the pain she was experiencing.  I carried that burden with me, those pent-up emotions she had and you’ll understand in a minute why I know those pent up emotions were now mine as well, eventhough I was not the one to experience them first hand.  It was their traumas passed on to me, and I actually asked to take them!
 
I did some more energy work and this time with another practitioner instead of my own personal session.  I can go into deeper healing with another practitioner, just like you come to me to help you.  It can be more intense and complete when you work with an outside person beyond yourself.
 
In that session, we identified and cleared 11 generations from both sides of burden, betrayal, resentment, shock and destruction.
 
Yes, both sides of my family from all those mothers who had to endure the burden of living in a country where your land was being fought over constantly.  The Russians, the Prussians, the Germans, etc – Polish history proves we were invaded, attacked and taken over pretty regularly. 
That betrayal and other emotional burdens were from mistrust of allies, the betrayal from God, from your own country and leaders, and losing your loved ones in war.  In addition, the women then had the burden of losing their children and/or husbands and having to raise children on their own.
So there was plenty of burden and plenty of betrayal felt.  I can totally understand where those buried emotions came from – can you?

But it’s not my burden – I have to remind myself. 
 
It is my time to cut that cord and stop taking on that burden.  My grandmother may have cut the cords, but I had to do so on my end, too so I could alleviate the congestion in my hip and allow it to heal.  And watching those 11 generations march out of my hip like little soldiers was really quite remarkable!  Even now, 4 weeks later as I write this, I seal that cord with love so I can take that energy back to me so my body and hip can heal naturally.  And so it is.
 
And my hip did feel better and continues to improve!  Not just that night, but it was the beginning of more expansion in my hip and greater range of motion, even if it is in small increments, I am truly feeling better.  I started putting play into my activities although at times it is hard as I am not in the fitness I want to be.
 
Every day I discover something new to improve the position of my hip and to increase the range of motion.  My hip may be arthritic, and I may be the only one getting stronger with arthritis rather than weaker.  My hip may be arthritic, but I intend on reversing that condition and releasing any other burdens which were passed on from ancestors as I need that light energy to be here with me, to help my hip heal rather than waste that energy on negativity or past trauma that was not mine.  I need to free myself of the burdens so I can feel free to be fully me and all I want to do.
 
If you have arthritis, maybe some of those family burdens were also passed on.  We can help you identify and release them so can go play again.
 
Arthritis can be a burden, but it is not my burden anymore.  It is now an adventure of how to ignite the body’s natural ability to heal.  And cutting the cords to my ancestors so their burdens are theirs rather than shared.
 
So I am going to keep playing until I can play full out like me! and put arthritis in remission once and for all….cuz you know I still want to dance in high heels are my niece’s wedding in November!

I now replace the burden with love from my grandmother, Babcia Kazimiera and will do my best to play.
I now know, it is not my burden anymore.  Arthritis is my opportunity to play.

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